Where did our sex go?
The patriarchal society focuses on women’s sex lives from the age of 15 to 45. After dealing with objectification, limited access to reproductive rights and stereotypical gender roles what happens to women when they aren’t sexual objects or reproductive vessels anymore.
Ageism and sexism combined means that the sex lives of older women are still a taboo. No government worries about what women 50 + are doing with their vaginas as they aren’t really ‘fuckable’ anymore.
Men don’t have this ‘expiration date’, in fact, it’s not uncommon to see older men coupling with younger women. A little Viagra and they are good to go. Older women of the same age on the other hand gradually slide into the role of the wholesome older lady who takes care of the garden & the kitchen. The bedroom is for naps and watching films and not for engaging in any sexual activity.
As well as being considered ‘non sexual’ anymore, menopausal women are left in the dark about what is happening to their sexual health.
Sex is too painful and as a result women avoid any intimate contact because they are terrified of that leading to penetration.
However with age, most women become more aware of what they need in the bedroom and how to get there which is an extra reason why sex & menopause should be talked about together more often.
Let’s dive into menopausal women’s sex lives to see what is really happening and what they can do to maintain their sexual goddessness.
What is really happening down there:
The loss of estrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to changes in a woman’s body and sexual drive. Menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that they’re not as easily aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That can lead to less interest in sex.
Also, lower levels of estrogen can cause a drop in blood supply to the vagina. That can affect vaginal lubrication, causing the vagina to be too dry for comfortable sex.
Here are 10 symptoms that occur with these lower levels of estrogen:
- Increased sexual desire
- Change in sexual orientation/ gender fluidity
- Decreased sexual activity
- Vaginal dryness and loss of vaginal elasticity
- Pain or burning with intercourse
- Increased and decreased clitoral sensitivity
- Increased and decreased responsiveness
- Fewer orgasms, decreased depth of orgasm, increase in orgasms and sexual awakening
What can menopausal ladies do to regain their inner fire:
The first important point is to feel sexy because you are sexy. Feel your most comfortable and embrace the natural remedies around you to get in the mood. If you feel you have trouble reaching orgasm it may not be you or your age.
Aphrodisiacs can work like magic. Here are just a few to consider before a romantic soiree with your lover or yourself:
There are more ingredients you can find in your kitchen to light up the fire in your bedroom.
Once you’ve eaten the right foods to enhance your sexual atmosphere, you can sip some herbal tea that will increase your libido. Here are a few powerful herbs that can help with vaginal dryness: Angelica root, hops, ylang ylang & lemon balm. For some women, a glass of red wine does the trick by helping to relax the body and mind.
The final step before you reach the big O is as easy as natural lubricant. Here are a few you can find available on the market. Bioglide is our personal and local favourite (http://www.bioglide.de/en/#quality). No need to get too fancy, coconut oil will do just fine.
Just because society doesn’t think you should be having sex, that doesn’t mean that you have to stop enjoying it. Just be sexual without being sexualised.